I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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