So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
