im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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