Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
try to milk me bitch
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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