My sheets look like a crime scene.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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