We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
