First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize