i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
