I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
