hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
