I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
