We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
