Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
