I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
