the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
