My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
