Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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