I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
