Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
