like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
