So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
