In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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