That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
