Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
