I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
