I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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