I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
