i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
