Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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