I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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