i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
