haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
