And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
