Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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