Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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