i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
