k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
