I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
