Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
