If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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