it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize