Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize