I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
