Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
