i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
did i walk over a car last night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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