You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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