did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
