I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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