I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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