every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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