He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
