they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Everything about him screamed your future.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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