Im at strip club and am horny
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The feeling are messing with the penis
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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