Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
