when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
