remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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