So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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