Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
