with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
