Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
