i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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