I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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