Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
