i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
